"OKCupid has analyzed 35,000 couples from its site and discovered that the question that best signals the potential for relationship longevity is: “Do you like horror movies?”"
I googled horror movie hunk and this is what I got. No lies.
The book itself is a nonfiction account of how algorithms and machines have taken the place of humans (scary movie plot???) in predicting health concerns, analzying foreign policy, and many other daily jobs (maybe not...). But how do horror films come into play? And what about the answer to that question makes a good predictions for the success of a relationship?
Uh Duh. Romance and horror obviously go together. They do in the bookstore anyway.
Being a blogger and all around cool person, I can not answer these questions for you, so you should read the book, but what I can tell you is that this means there is hope for you if you are single and a horror movie fan. You will no longer come off as white mask from Scream when you ask "Hey pretty lady/dude, what is your favorite scary movie?"
This would be a bad reaction. No sequel. No second date.
New pictures for the "Carrie" remake have been released in all their gritty glory. Chloë Grace Moretz, who you might recognize for her role in the "Let the Right One In" remake "Let Me In," (trend?) stars in the leading role of Carrie opposite from Julianne Moore who will play her fanatical mother. The film is directed by Kimberly Peirce whose debut film "Boys Don't Cry" won an Oscar in 1999.
Despite usual remake weariness, it seems that with a cast and director this strong, it would be difficult for this film to be terrible. So, as long as it's somewhere above terrible, I'm on board. What do y'all think?
Remember, remember, the month of October when American Horror Story returns with their next variation: Asylum. The show revolves around an asylum for the mentally insane in 1964. The main story line is said to revolve around a nun at the institution played by returning cast member Jessica Lange and her boss, James Cromwell.
A few new cast members include: Clea Duvall (The Faculty), Joseph Fiennes (Shakespeare in Love), Chloe Sevigny (Big Love), and singer Adam Levine (known to Move Like Jagger).
A few vague and frankly, unexciting teasers have hit the internet. I'm not sure if these nun/nurses have the fright appeal of rubber man, but my hopes are still high. Check the teasers out below:
I can't help but wonder what could have happened to Near Dark, if The Lost Boys wasn't released. It was the late 80's. The hair was big, the jackets were denim, and vampires were on the brink of being cool again. Near Dark is by no means a perfect film, but I found the story more interesting than the much played out "too cool for school" vampires of The Lost Boys.
In Near Dark, the vampires are dirty, gritty, and overall more interesting. Plus, Kathryn Bigelow directs Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen, and Tangerine Dream does the soundtrack. Should I say more? I should, because this is an unusual take on the vampire movie. Bigelow uses the modern day vampire story and blends it with the tropes of a western film, which is both a strength and a weakness. It's ambitious and in turn suffers from being laid out too thin. There is some great tension and the bar scene is iconic, but overall, the film feels rushed. The characters, not fully realized. The ending, interesting, but not earned.
Near Dark begins as Caleb (Adrian Pasdar) meets a beautiful girl, Mae, in his small town. He wastes little time in getting to know her, this is young love after all, and also discovers that things aren't quite right with Mae. In fact, Mae is a vampire and her family happen to be vampires too. Vampires who live in a van.
In a moment of passion, Mae bites Caleb only to begin the transformation for him to become a vampire. A grueling, sweaty, not fun, process. Once Caleb makes it through, the party really starts.
While it's not a perfect movie, it is quite fun to watch Bill Paxton go full Nic Cage in a particular bar scene. Near Dark is a nice entry to the vampire genre.
House at the End of the Street
Release: September 21, 2012
1hr 41min
PG-13
Thriller / Horror
Jennifer Lawrence is a bit of a hot commodity now, what with the Hunger Games being a monstrously huge success, her great performance in Winter's Bone and don't forget she's Mystique in X-Men First Class and its upcoming sequel--to say she's doing well is a bit of an understatement.
Her current "A" status gives me hope for House at the End of the Street. Usually actors that have "made it," so to speak, don't sign on to do horror movies unless it's pretty good, at least in the script department. A good example is The Woman in Black, with Daniel Radcliffe. A little cliched in the jump-scares department, but the story, acting, and atmosphere were spot-on and was a bright mark for horror movies in my opinion.
I am a little worried that she may have signed on to the project just before her true rise to stardom and just took the job, and I'm a little turned-off by her character's awkward inquisitive nature, such as when she just ask, "Hey, you're the dude who's parents were murdered?" without any tact in her social skills, and it makes me laugh how the studio took the huge liberty of taking "House at the End of the Street" to make the acronym "HATES" that they are using in marketing the movie. I'm going to give the movie the benefit of the doubt however, and hey, at least it's not a remake.
Also, I'm calling the "twist" of the movie right now: the boy and his sister murdered his parents, got away with it, and his sisters isn't a ghost, she's just crazy and he has to control her to not kill Jennifer Lawrence's character. That has to be it, right?
Hey all, it's been awhile since we've updated that site; that's my bad. The site is mostly run by Chrissie and me, Bobby. We both have gotten pretty busy in our personal lives lately, and I promise we will have articles and good topics coming up soon.
That said, thanks everyone for looking at our stupid things we have posted! Up next, I will do a top ten list of the scariest exorcism movies of all time!
Stay tuned, and American Horror Story Season 2 will be gearing up soon along with The Walking Dead Season 3, so there is tons to talk about!
Giving you the things you never asked for, Crime Scene Pictures is moving forward with their Suspiria remake with David Gordon Green in the director's chair. Now you are probably thinking one of these things:
a.) No.
b.) No. Thank you
c.) Wait. That stoner movie director?
While remakes are in general unwanted, I have to tell you why I'm not worried and maybe a little excited about the Suspiria remake. Before David Gordon Green was the king of stoner comedies, he made a few films that take place in his home state of North Carolina that are naturalistic and beautiful. The complete opposite of Pineapple Express. He also comes from the "no budget" film philosophy. See clips from George Washington and All the Pretty Girls below. It makes me wonder if Suspiria is going to be more of a passion piece, because it will have more potential for artistic grace than something like the next Jonah Hill movie.
My last note is that I hope he finds someone cool to do the soundtrack. Goblin's soundtrack to Suspiria is so iconic in my mind, it's hard not to think about one without the other. Be good to us David Gordon Green.
Do ya'll think it will be good? Tell me all about it.
Simon Pegg is back to the nitty gritty as he stars in the new film A Fantastic Fear of Everything. Pegg stars as Jack, a children's author who turns to writing crime fiction. His new research into Victorian murderers is making him a little too paranoid.
Written by Crispian Mills, singer and guitarist for the band Kula Shaker, A Fantastic Fear of Everything will be released in a limited release on June 8th and it looks like a fantastic amount of fun.
Riding on the success of Woman in Black, the highest grossing British horror film in the past 20 years with a nice round $120 million, the Hammer studios have decided to make a second one. Take that straight to the bank, Susan Hill!
Susan Hill the author of the original novel and source material for Woman in Black has confirmed that she will help pen the sequel entitled Woman in Black: Angels of Death. The sequel is planned to be set 40 years later in the same house where Radcliffe took up residence in the first film.
Jon Crocker, the story editor of films such as Attack the Block, The Iron Lady, and the first installment of The Woman in Black will be writing the screenplay.
Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Shue star as a mother and daughter who rent a home next to a home where a girl murdered her parents. The mystery unfolds backwards (Memento style if you will) as Elissa (Jennifer Lawrence) befriends the surviving brother from the house next door. The film will be released in September and you can bet you're bottom dollar it's rated PG-13 to accomodate the Hunger Games fan base. View the trailer below:
Federico Chiesa imagines what happens to villians once the franchises are over. There is no one left to chase and the business of fear runs out. What happens to our favorite villians once they retire? You might not like what you find out.
View the rest of the ghouls here on Chiesa's website.
Cronenberg returns to a Crash aesthetic in the teaser trailer for Cosmopolis. Adapted from Don Dellilo's 13th novel and starring Robert Pattinson, Cronenberg is quoted as saying that it's a "project I'm very fond of." He's done one right thing in casting Pattinson, because no one gives me the creeps more than him.
While some will question Pattinson's acting abilities, I have faith in Cronenberg as a director, because of his success with Keira Knightley in A Dangerous Method. I'm probably biased though, because I'll watch anything Cronenberg has even sneezed on. Trailer below:
So, the "full" trailer for Ridley Scott's upcoming movie Prometheus looks pretty amazing. We get a few shots here and there of some of the alien beings in the movie as well. It's pretty apparent that the Space Jockey from Alien 1 is in there along with the ship that is crashed landed on the planet of the first movie.
In the second trailer, Guy Pearce plays Peter Weyland, which any Alien fan knows is part of the Weyland-Yutani company that puts bringing the Xenomorphs to Earth a higher priority and all the crew of the Alien films as expendable. Also, this website has me super hyped: https://www.weylandindustries.com/
Whether or not it is the "same" ship and race of alien caring the Xenomorph eggs on there is to be determined, but seeing as the Aliens franchise is one of my favorites of all time, I can only hope.
I'm calling it; Michael Fassbender will be playing the evil android role, Noomie Rapace is the Ridley role, and Charlize Theron will bite the dust in this movie. Mark my words.
I might also add, that siren sound effect in the trailer may very well become the new horn sound from the Inception trailer, and that it's also very creepy, but also the similar siren sound of the Nostromo in the first Alien film as well. The trailer seems pretty suspenseful already, so color me pink with excitement on this movie. Prometheus release June 8, 2012.
In 2005, I saw Sin City. Ever since, I have been waiting for the sequel. I just assumed there would be a sequel since franchises have been made from less. So I waited, but nothing happened.
Well, Robert Rodriguez has stated at this year's SXSW that he is planning to film a sequel to Machete (this spring) and Sin City (this summer). It is said that some of the material for Sin City 2 will be original, but most of the content will come from Frank Miller's graphic novel, "A Dame to Kill For," the second novel in the Sin City series.
Remember when playing Battleship the board game and shouting out "B9" and then aliens attacked from no where? Oh you don't? Well, that makes sense but you know what doesn't? The fucking plot of this movie.
How ridiculous can a movie get? I mean Michael Bay's Transformers was horrendous enough, but you really can't blame Hasboro or Universal for replicating that same formula given that the Transformers movies have made over a billion dollars.
With a reported $200 million dollar budget, it seems Battleship is doing whatever it can to be just as big. However let's just compare the similarities between the two movies show we?
Battleship and Transformers similarities:
Military vs Giant alien robots: check
Sound effects that sound like dubstep: check
Mechanical alien/robots that transform into things: check
Cutting a skyscraper in half and watching it fall: check
R & B singers as actors: check
Ridiculous amounts of explosions: check
Racists robots: we'll have to wait and see on Battleship, but I can only assume.
Looks like Brad Pitt's zombie apocalypse--should the real apocalypse of 2012 not happen--is postponed from December 21, 2012, to June 21 2013.
Based on the Max Brooks best-selling zombie novel, which has a journalist interviewing people after the zombie apocalypse is over and contained, about their experiences during the outbreak and how they survived, the film has had production problems throughout, which gives me some worry as to the quality and possibility for the delay.
Optimistically however, a delay this far-projected in time and pushing it for the big summer release means that possibly, the film is turning out better or more action-packed than hoped. Directed by Quantum Of Solace's Marc Forster, perhaps Paramount is giving time for better special effects/CG work or just wants to cash in on a summer audience and confident it can compete, but it looks like we'll have quite a bit of waiting time on our hands before we find out.
I'll be honest, I'm a little concerned about this movie. Granted, I know that trailers are usually outsourced and the directors have no control over them 95% of the time, but man the music in the trailer is really a buzz-kill for the overall "mood" of the film. Granted, I'm a pretty excited about the story and I like that it looks like it'll be funny, but I was hoping for something a bit... darker.
Hey, want to know how to survive a zombie apocalypse?
Well listen to this podcast, it's a doozy. Sadly, no females are on this one, but we are still representing the lipstick!
Forrest on the left, Bobby on the right.
This podcast stars me and Forrest Bradley talking about whether a zombie apocalypse could happen or not, what the military might do in the situation, what we would do, and how the zombie apocalypse may not be as devastating as television leaves you to believe!
Jessica Lange (Constance), Zachary Quinto (Chad Warwick), Evan Peters (Tate), Sarah Paulson (Billy Dean), and Lily Rabe (Nora) will all be returning to the second season of American Horror Story. While the actors will be returning to the show, they will not be returning to their previous roles.
It is rumored that besides the return of a few actors, the setting and premise will be entirely new. From what I can piece together from multiple sources, the new show will be taking place in a mental institution.
Jessica Lange who won a Golden Globe for her role as Constance, will be returning as the complete opposite of her previous role (as will all of the returning actors). In fact, co-creator Ryan Murphy is quoted as saying in this interview:
“We have designed the second season of American Horror Story completely around her character. Last year Jessica came in with Connie Britton and Dylan McDermott. This will really be the Jessica Lange show so I’m very excited about it. We are designing this amazing new opposite of the Constance character for her. She and I have spoken about different things. She has a lot of ideas, and has a lot of input into her character. She told me some things she has always wanted to play as an actress. She’s a great collaborator and a great friend.”
This appears to be a smart move as Jessica Lange is the actress with the accolade and the lengthiest history of winning praise. The real question will be if the show will attract the same fans and praise of it's previous season with an entirely new plot, setting, characters, premise. . . really it's going to be a completely different show, isn't it?
I have to say, season 2 part 2 of The Walking Dead has been moving along and much more interesting. Moving away from just having "the farm" as a set piece has done wonders and rekindled what made the first season so good. For those looking for all three sneak peeks of episode 211: Judge, Jury, and Executioner, look no further.
So most of us, especially anyone in the United States has read Edgar Allan Poe's, The Raven. Most may not understand what it's about, but you at least know about it. The poem has been animated into one of the Treehouse of Horror episodes in The Simpsons, and even Christopher Walken has audio of him reading it, which is a delight. To sum it up for those who haven't read it or remember it, The Raven tells of a talking raven's mysterious visit to a distraught man, who is slowly descending into madness after the loss of his lover, Lenore. Sitting on a bust of Pallas, the raven seems to further instigate his distress with its constant repetition of the word "nevermore" as his dementia sets in.
A little history on Poe and the poem, it first appeared in the New York Evening Mirror on January 29, 1845. Printed twice, it became immensely popular and made Edgar Allan Poe a household name and national celebrity. Readers began to identify poem with poet, earning Poe the nickname "The Raven". The poem was soon widely reprinted, imitated, and parodied. Though it made Poe popular in his day, it did not bring him significant financial success, as he later lamented, "I have made no money. I am as poor now as ever I was in my life – except in hope, which is by no means bankable".
Poor dude, he was poor forevermore.
Here, you can listen to Christopher Walken read the entire poem. It's quite awesome.
So as Hollywood is ought to do, unable to come up with an original idea, they have taken The Raven--a license-free and public domain idea--and as you would expect, bastardized it. I dare say, an even bigger bastardization than Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movies.
Here's The Simpson's version, sadly I couldn't find the full animated version.
The upcoming movie entitled The Raven, is an American thriller film directed by James McTeigue, who directed V for Vendetta. It's going to star 2012 apocalypse survivor John Cusack (who has dipped his toe into horror before with the films, Identity and 1408), Alice Eve and Oliver Jackson-Cohen. It'll be released on April 27, 2012.
The Raven (2012) movie trailer in all its terrible glory
So, what's the story? Well, it has nothing to do with the poem that's for sure, or Edgar Allan Poe's life. I mentioned earlier Guy Ritchie turning Sherlock Holmes from a sophisticated sleuth into a slapstick comical action movie farce. Well, it seems McTeigue plans to do the same with writer Edgar Allan Poe.
The film's story plans to tell of the last days of Edgar Allan Poe's life, in which the author pursues a serial killer whose murders mirror those in Poe's stories, because the only way to stop the serial killer is to have the person who wrote the stories or something...
Poe teams up with a young Baltimore detective played by Emmett Fileds (Luke Evans) to hunt down the serial killer. As the attacks continue, it appears someone close to Poe may become the murderer's next victim, and raises the stakes higher yadda, yadda, yadda, dribble, dribble, blah.
It should come to no surprise that Hollywood likes to shit all over things, but this one really hurts. Considering, at least to me, that he is one of the forefathers of horror and very revered in my opinion. If you're going to do a "Poe" movie and modernize it, just take one of his existing stories, but no, I'm sure a bunch of people in suits thought that would be a "bad idea" or "boring" and this fictional take, which sports Cusack as Poe running around with a pistol, as a good idea.
The actual Poe claimed to have written the poem very logically and methodically, intending to create a poem that would appeal to both critical and popular tastes, somehow I doubt this movie will appease to either. If the movie turns out good, I'll eat crow, or rather, raven.
What the hell is this... I'm not too sure. I don't even know where to start. The tagline is "We are going to flush you!" So, there is that. I mean, zombies back up into you with their ass? Is this a movie with a lot of fecal matter? Does it have a lot of Japanese school girl porn? There's a Human Centipede-like moment where a two people are impaled with a giant bamboo stick through the anus to the mouth. What the...?
Newest podcast is up as we have a divided debate on the quality of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. We also, talk about some of our own toughest women in horror movies/sci-fi and Bobby rips apart Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. Chrissie also mentions some of the weird words put into Google that land people on our site. There are some weirdos out there, for sure. It's fun for the whole family!
Ever wonder why people don't make more Shaun of the Dead style films? I know I wonder this often. Well, it looks like the Dutch have heard our cries with Zombibi, and trust me, I'm going to do whatever I can to get a copy of this movie with subtitles ASAP.
Holy crap, does that look amazing or what? The film was just released on February 16, 2012 in Belgium. God, I need to see it.
Well, rumor has it that Will Smith and Warner Bros. are moving ahead with an I Am Legend 2. It also looks like it may be a sequel and might still have Will Smith in it... I have no idea how that's going to work. Considering that the movie, released in 2007, has made over $600 million worldwide, I'm sure the producers are drooling with anticipation to cobble together another zombie-vampire apocalypse with The Fresh Prince.
Akiva Goldsman, who won an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind, and was the original co-writer/producer of the first Legend film, is said to be on board for its sequel. My question is how? The original book has such a finite ending (that the film didn't follow at all) and the reworked ending for the 2007 film has *spoiler!!!!* Will Smith die, that I have no idea what they are planning on doing unless Big Will comes back as a zombie, or indeed he survives the huge grenade blast, which c'mon; that'd be preposterous.
Rumor has it however, it may also be a possible prequel. That makes more sense, at least in terms of having Will Smith back. From this interview, this is what Will Smith had to say about it:
"Will Smith: We have a fantastic prequel idea…we’re still trying to work through a couple of bumps in the story. It’s essentially the fall of the last city – the last stand of Manhattan. The movie would be…within the body of the movie D.C. and then Manhattan would fall as the last city. It’s a really cool idea trying to figure it out…there’s a reason why we have to take a small band and we have to get into D.C. So we have to make our way from New York to D.C. and then back to New York.
Collider: Will the dog be back in it?
Will Smith: Yes, the dog will be a puppy."
Okay, I'm sold on an I Am Legend 2. I'll buy my ticket right now.
So there is that. I guess it could work... I mean I've heard and seen worse, but part of what made the first movie "kind of" work (despite basically shitting all over Richard Matheson's original tale), is that there was danger present at all times. You never really knew if the dog or Will Smith was going to survive. If the movie is a prequel... well you don't have to worry about them surviving at least for that film.
I would much rather prefer to see Will Smith as a zombie of some type in a sequel. That's a role he's yet to do. Welcome to urff.
Okay, either this or the puppy and Warner Bros. will have a hit on its hands.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, isn't a horror movie. We know that. We bent the rules however, because there wasn't a lot coming out to review and it has to do with a demon from hell, so that's kind of horror related, right?
And I'll be honest, I had some high hopes for this movie. I'm one of those people who root for Nicholas Cage, I really do. I know the man is terrible with his money and has to take really shitty roles to make ends meet, but I also know he's a hardcore comic book fan, and I always feel that he is getting to live his dream playing as Ghost Rider.
Which hurts my heart to say, but I'm just going to come out and say it--the following Youtube clip I'm about to post is more entertaining to me that the entirety of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. Go on, watch. Tell me that you don't smile, laugh, and then replay it.
Let's be honest here; in most horror movies the female role is usually reserved for dumb idiots with fake boobs that have no character depth past being stabbed in said tits. They are usually victims.
Once in awhile though, film makers decide to break the stereotype and make their female characters really strong and full of a will that cannot be broken.
This article started out as me doing a "top 5 toughest females..." blah, blah, blah article, but I decided as I was doing it, that I would like to give these female roles a little more credit than that, and I also found a lot more than five females.
Therefore, I created "super hero" cards based off how awesome I think these female characters are in the movies/shows and I tried to represent their cards based off their prowess.
Hopefully, I got it right and I'll be doing more of these. Let's start with my favorite female badass first.
Ellen Ripley (Alien franchise)
The ultimate queen of all badass females in horror/sci-fi.
Let's do a rundown of each film and how they make her such a badass:
In Ridley Scott's Alien, she is the sole survivor of the movie. After arming the self-destruct system of the Nostromo's, the large space ship to which all her crew gets brutally killed, she manages to escape the ship in a small shuttle.
In that shuttle, she manages to fight the Xenomorph one-on-one by forcing it out of the shuttle, shooting it with a grappling hook and burning it with the ships engines. So that's pretty gnarly, and for a creature that killed several people, she kills it alone.
The comes Aliens, the James Cameron sequel. A whole squad of Marines die horribly to the Xenomorphs. Again, when trying to escape and save the orphan Newt, who has been left behind she burns the lair of Xenomorph eggs pissing off the Queen. Ripley then, again one-on-one, fights the queen in a exosuit cargo-loader and sends the queen into space off of their docking ship.
Ripley, pure badass.
In Alien 3, she helps lure the Xenomorph into molten lava and cools it down rapidly, forcing it to shatter. She finds out that she has a Xenomorph implanted in her and is given the option to take it out of her and survive, but decides to kill herself by jumping into giant furnace as fearing the people who wish to retrieve the specimen have ulterior motives. I know I couldn't just kill myself if someone told me they could save me and I'd live.
Finally, in Alien: Resurrection, she's brought back as a clone of her former self, only this time she's more badass and arrogant than before. I won't mention the "alien sex scene" as I mentioned that in our Valentine's Day podcast, but the movie has moments of grandeur despite its absurdity.
Card Stat Rankings:
Intelligence: 4/5. Ripley is smart and definitely cunning. She has consistently outsmarted the Xenomorphs which kill trained marines time and time again. She's not a rocket scientist, but she's pretty damn close.
Fighting Capabilities: 5/5. There is no denying that Ripley can handle herself. She knows how to fire giant machines guns, use a grappling gun to kill a Xenomorph, and pilot an exosuit to battle a Queen.
Resourcefulness: 5/5. This is all part of her cunning. Ripley is always the voice of reason, planning, and aware of her surroundings. In the second movie she points out that the marines cannot fire their weapons because of the explosive nature of their surroundings, and it takes a quick thinker to out smart the lighting-quick reflexes of a Xenomorph.
Luck: 3/5. She's not totally unlucky, after all she manages to survive until the third movie with outrageous circumstances. Let's be honest though, every time she tries to escape a Xenomorph is on board her ship, and when she does escape, she crash-lands with a Xenomorph on board. Even after dying she gets re-cloned to come back and fight more aliens, and that's just luck a person wouldn't want to have.
